Am I wrong... (serious responses only) - DaBearz

Bearfanmike20 · #1 (**permalink**) 05-07-2008, 08:46 AM

ok.. so.. I found out 3 weeks ago that my brother was doing somthing illegal... He confided this to me in confidence... now.. I was really pissed about it... and my X... who noticed I was really pissed asked me what was up with me.. and she asked me at the right time.. so I spilled my guts...

well... I was trying to figure out a way to tell my parents, but not break that confidence that my brother had in me when he confided that in me.. I'm big on honor...

so.. last night.. My X took it apon herself to tell my parents. Without telling me...

so.. now.. I've betraid my brother.. and my parents...

and I'm really pissed about the whole thing now....

and especially at my X (whom I really dont need a good reason to be angry with but now i have one).

Am I wrong for feeling this way??

InfinitePulse · #2 (**permalink**) 05-07-2008, 11:01 AM

Yeah dude, wtf?

You don't spill your guts to the EX, you don't give her any ammo... your brother should feel betrayed.

Sorry dude, but you can't say anything to the EX that can be used against you or anyone else in your family...

4th and 26 · #3 (**permalink**) 05-07-2008, 11:07 AM

There is a reason she is your ex and I would not give her the time of day for anything. I think you should have told your parents yourself about your brother situation. He needs help before he gets over his head or sent to prison for a very long time.

JD67 · #4 (**permalink**) 05-07-2008, 11:41 AM

I'm gonna echo the previous comments.

Confiding in your ex about anything isn't in your best interest. In fact, it would not surprise me if she purposely did this to upset you. Not that you brother doesn't need some help.

The best thing you could do is to come clean w/ your brother before he gets a suprise call from your parents. At least then you will have been honest with him and he will have some time to clean up his act/decide how to address this w/ your parents.

Bearfanmike20 · #5 (**permalink**) 05-07-2008, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JD67

I'm gonna echo the previous comments.

Confiding in your ex about anything isn't in your best interest. In fact, it would not surprise me if she purposely did this to upset you. Not that you brother doesn't need some help.

The best thing you could do is to come clean w/ your brother before he gets a suprise call from your parents. At least then you will have been honest with him and he will have some time to clean up his act/decide how to address this w/ your parents.

Too late.. all of that already went down...

as for confiding in my X.... a mistake.. I'll NEVER make again...

I was really pissed that day... and nobody around to talk to.... she came up to me and asked and unfortunatly.. my filter... wasn't working....

so...

it all came spewing out of me..... by the time I realized what I had done.. it was too late...

JD67 · #6 (**permalink**) 05-07-2008, 12:51 PM

Damage control is your only option. And by that I mean keeping your relationship w/ your brother. Just be honest w/ him.

Bearfanmike20 · #7 (**permalink**) 05-07-2008, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JD67

Damage control is your only option. And by that I mean keeping your relationship w/ your brother. Just be honest w/ him.

And my parents who of course.. are not thrilled that I didn't tell them....

UHG.. I knew this would happen...

In the mean time...

I know now from this an another incident that my X... can NEVER be my friend...

**n34footbalislife** · #8 (**permalink**) 05-07-2008, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JD67

Damage control is your only option. And by that I mean keeping your relationship w/ your brother. Just be honest w/ him.

only option I see,good advice JD

mjm · #9 (**permalink**) 05-07-2008, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InfinitePulse

Yeah dude, wtf?

You don't spill your guts to the EX, you don't give her any ammo... your brother should feel betrayed.

Sorry dude, but you can't say anything to the EX that can be used against you or anyone else in your family...

That is right. Sorry about everything Mike. Loose lips sinks ships bud. I got so much inside I think I am going to explode. But keep yours card close to you chest. Sooner or later you and your brother mend the fence, hopefully. All the best to you.

4th and 26 · #10 (**permalink**) 05-07-2008, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bearfanmike20

And my parents who of course.. are not thrilled that I didn't tell them....

UHG.. I knew this would happen...

In the mean time...

I know now from this an another incident that my X... can NEVER be my friend...

Do not and I mean do not ever get back with the ex wife down the road. She will probably realize ending this relationship was bad and now she will suck up to you to get back with you.

fencikfan · #11 (**permalink**) 05-07-2008, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JD67

Damage control is your only option. And by that I mean keeping your relationship w/ your brother. Just be honest w/ him.

This is the best advice!

Bearfanmike20 · #12 (**permalink**) 05-07-2008, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jay Mariotti

Do not and I mean do not ever get back with the ex wife down the road. She will probably realize ending this relationship was bad and now she will suck up to you to get back with you.

Let me put this in the best way possible...

NO F#CKING WAY!!!

InfinitePulse · #13 (**permalink**) 05-08-2008, 05:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bearfanmike20

And my parents who of course.. are not thrilled that I didn't tell them....

UHG.. I knew this would happen...

In the mean time...

I know now from this an another incident that my X... can NEVER be my friend...

Why would you want to be freinds with her anyway... c'mon man... you gotta be careful of when you step!!

Bearfanmike20 · #14 (**permalink**) 05-08-2008, 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by InfinitePulse

Why would you want to be freinds with her anyway... c'mon man... you gotta be careful of when you step!!

Nieve... I suppose..

Mother of my kids.. alot of history..

Lesson learned.

Bearfanmike20 · #15 (**permalink**) 05-08-2008, 01:07 PM

The plot thickens...

My x sais now.. that if I move in with my parents (which is the only place I'm going to have to to) that she will not allow the kids to go there.

because of my brother....

I'm sooo upset right now... i'm dizzy.. I feel like i'm gonna pass out... stuck here at work.. my chest is killing me.... its hard to breath.....

and.. I'm alone.... completely alone...